On the Edge of the Cosmos
by JensonBensen
Summary: Post Stars, Sailor Moon to Neo-Queen Serenity; Usagi is in Japan while the Senshi are scattered in the world, but love and the future bring them back together that is until tragedy strikes; better summary inside, manga-canon based; Shintennou!
1. A Spot of Exposition

**On the Edge of the Cosmos**

*Author's Note can be found at the bottom of the page (since I know not everyone likes long notes at the top). It discusses what this story is supposed to be about and what I want for it, read at your leisure!

Summary: In the years following Galaxia, all of our favorite superheroes finally get to live their own lives, often far away from their friends. Twenty year-old Usagi is currently alone in Tokyo and maybe that's the way she wants it. Ami, Mamoru, Minako are in the United States; Rei is on a mystical journey, visiting all of the most spiritual locations on the earth; Makoto is in France, studying under brilliant chefs; and the Outers are going wherever concerts, races, and their hearts take them. Oh and the Shitennou make their return! With a year and a half until Usagi's twenty-second, the clock is ticking down to Crystal Tokyo, how will our characters spend their time? Warning: tragedy in the third act, but relatively happy ending!

Pairs: (cannon) Usa/Mamo, InSenshi/Shitennou, M/H

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**A Spot of Exposition**

She cried the night the war ended; only the feline advisors were there to witness it**. She was just as surprised as they were to see tears, though this wasn't the only thing she'd done that night that she found surprising. She wasn't entirely sure why she had said no to her friend's request that she come to Rei's temple to celebrate, even less sure why she had also refused Mamoru's offer to stay at his place. She just knew she needed to be alone right now.

It occurred to her that ever since Galaxia had begun her first attacks she actually hadn't cried that much, I mean not like anyone would have expected of her. It had been the middle of a war, she couldn't break down, and she definitely never got a chance to mourn. And that's what the problem was. Almost everyone she cared about in the world had died, most of them right in front of her, and she never got to really process it. That was why she was in a dark room away from the people she loved crying her eyes out; it was sort of comforting having an explanation.

And then there were the cats. She felt terrible about her behavior towards the two worried advisors sitting on the edge of her bed. If they had said anything she hadn't heard it. She hadn't really heard anything since she had thrown herself onto her bed and dove under her covers. They were the same pink bunny ones that she'd had for years; seemingly the only thing that hadn't changed since she'd met the black cat now looking up at her anxiously.

Taking a calming but shaky breath, "Luna, you don't want your face to be stuck like that, do you?"

"Oh thank goodness! Usa you had me really worried! I've been trying to get your attention for ages!"

"Really, Usagi, we were starting to get scared," Artemis added. She smiled at the two cats, trying her best to ease their worries. And it wasn't all just for show; she really was starting to feel better, almost normal even.

"Usa," Luna's voice was tentative, "What… what happened? I, we, remember seeing you leave and then we… well anyway we were suddenly back here in your room, the time in between is a little… vague, I suppose," Luna's voice wavered and her eyes became lost in thought so Artemis took over:

"Right," he nodded in agreement, "We were suddenly in your room and just when we had decided to go out and investigate you ran in here and well… you know the rest."

"So, you don't know anything that's happened?"

"No, and we were hoping you could tell us."

"Usa, what happened at Sagittarius Zero Star?"

She didn't answer for a long time, causing the two to start worrying again, "They're okay," it was a whisper, "the girls, Mamoru. I… I saved them," and like that she was crying again.

"Usa!" Luna rushed over to her charge, "What is it? What's wrong? Do they not remember you?"

Usagi hiccupped, "That does happen a lot doesn't it?" and then, to the two cats' disbelief, she was started giggling.

"Do you remember when we were worried about you earlier?" Luna took a swipe at Artemis, despite the fact that she couldn't help but agree.

"Oh you're right, I'm going crazy aren't I?" she brought her hand to her face and sighed, once again going through the process of trying to clean up her face.

"Please tell us what's wrong? We want to help!" now Usagi felt really bad.

"Wait, Artemis!" her sudden exclamation made the cats jump, "You should be with Mina right now! I bet most of the senshi are together right now, it's only nine. They're probably at Rei's. I think you should go, both of you," she added as an afterthought.

"Oh Usa, you can't be serious! There is clearly something wrong with you! We can't just leave!"

"Luna's right!"

"Guys," she looked them evenly to convince them of her sincerity, "I'm mostly fine. Certainly enough that you can't leave! Plus, you can't honestly tell me you don't want to see the girls right now," she scratched Luna's favorite spot behind her ear and, with a slight frown, added, "plus, there's just a few things I need to straighten out for myself. I think, well I think I just need some time alone to just think, I guess." She knew neither of them was happy, but she also knew that they would listen to her in the end. She didn't say anything after that, forcing the cats into a mostly silent argument.

It wasn't until they were leaving that she finally spoke, "Could you two do me a favor? Could you not tell the others about tonight," she gave them a steely look stopping their arguments in their tracks, "I just don't want them worrying." There was a small argument, but just like before the girl's will succeeded. And they never did tell the others about that night the war ended. They decided to trust in her words, give her the space she wanted, and believe in the incomparable spirit of Usagi Tsukino.

And, for better or for worse, they kept on believing in her spirit. In fact, everyone did. Nearly five years had passed after the defeat of Galaxia without any major upsets, it was a time of peace and they all made sure to take advantage of it. Usagi and the Guardian Senshi graduated from high school and moved on to University. During those first few years of peace no one ever entertained a thought of leaving. But the girls, all talented in their respective fields and majors, began to get offers to travel and suddenly felt the urge to see the world. All of a sudden it seemed as if Crystal Tokyo was upon them and everything was now or never.

They never guessed how big a role Usagi played in their leaving. Nor did they ever wonder why the idea of leaving her and their other friends, of leaving what was essentially their family didn't bother them as much as it probably should of. If they had been paying attention perhaps they would have noticed a strange pattern that had developed in their life. When the idea of leaving was first presented to them they hated it, but soon it became more and more attractive. When they tried to think of the reasons why they had to stay, their minds seemed to cloud over. What had seemed so important only a month ago just didn't anymore. So they left; Usagi told them to go. She planned wonderful going away parties, and smiled as she saw them off at the airport and she even meant it. Yet after they'd been gone for a few weeks they began to wonder why they had left in the first place, it all seemed so stupid. Eventually they'd go back to Japan, back to Usagi and she'd give them the same smiles and life would seem brighter than it had before. But soon the same feelings that had forced them to leave in the first please and they would be off again. So the cycle would start again.

It would never have occurred to them to connect this to proximity to Usagi and her crystal. And why should it have occurred to them? They had no idea what the effects of Galaxia had been on her. They had no clue about the mysterious woman whom she had first met during that final battle, and who had come to her since. She never told anyone about her and what they talked about. They often wondered what might have happened if they had known, but they knew they couldn't think that way. As hard as it was, they had to accept what Usagi had done and do their best to forgive her, such was their life.

*So here's a brand new Sailor Moon story à la me. Like a lot of people, I'm super interested in the time between the end of Stars and Crystal Tokyo and also how Usagi changes into Neo-Queen Serenity and then into Cosmos. This is number one in a potential series that would chronicle that. This story will attempt to be extremely canonical, but when you feel a character(s) is acting off, there's probably a reason for that. Remember, we know point A and B, but everything between is fair game. Lastly, I prefer the Japanese names, but for a few characters I might use the English for convenience. Also, I'm terrible at Japanese honorifics so I usually avoid using them. (Real) Lastly, this is based on manga only.

**I figure that the wounds that made Luna, Artemis, and Diana mute were healed when the Universe was reset and that Diana was flown back to the future like Chibiusa.

***Alright, so this really was just an exposition chapter, longer ones centering on Usagi's life in Japan will follow… A lot of them are already written (pen and paper) and just need to be typed up so… PLEASE FAVORITE AND REVIEW! IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY! That being said, I really like this story so I'll probably post it anyway.


	2. A Bit of Silver Millennium in the Crown

Hey everyone! Thanks for reviewing or favorite-ing or story alerting (that's right, the last two are verbs now)! I have some replies to you lovely people at the bottom! There is a lot of talking in this chapter, for most of my chapters actually. This isn't really the most action-y story. Oh, and when you see a * it's just my ramblings about why I believe this is how Usagi's life is. These are things I might actually incorporate into the story or I might not, but they don't have to be read. I've just thought a lot about this world and so I'm sharing my thoughts. Kay, kay? Now let's talk to Motoki shall we?

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**A Little Bit of Silver Millennium in the Crown**

She smiled as she walked to work; it was a genuine smile too. There were some, perhaps most of her friends, who refused to believe her when she claimed things like that, but it was the truth. And sure, if she'd wanted to be upset there was plenty* she could of draw on, but it just wasn't in her nature. And besides, she thought to herself, it was a beautiful day; the kind that made a person want to live.

She quickened her pace; she was almost at the Crown, one of the many places she worked**. She had set out a little earlier so she could get a treat from Toki before her shift started. She smiled just thinking about the ridiculously sweet milkshake that was just a few steps away. The bell over the door rang announcing her arrival to Motoki.

"Usa! You're looking happy today! Did you just get some good new or something?"

"Can't a person just be happy, Toki?"

"Well you could, but," his normally happy face pulled into a frown, "I haven't seen you all that happy lately." She smiled sweetly at him and then walked behind the counter and gave him a hug that he happily returned.

"Thanks for worrying about me, Oniisan," they both smiled at the familiar term of endearment that she hadn't used for years now, "it means a lot to me, but I swear, you don't have to, okay? I'm happy, really." She stepped away from him and took a seat on the other side of the counter.

Deciding to let it drop he smiled down at her, "Your usual?" She gave him the widest smile possible and nodded; he was happy to see the light in her eyes again, it had been awhile. He started making her trademark dessert and wiping down the counter with a rag.

"So," he made his voice nonchalant, "you have a birthday coming up don't you?"

She laughed at him, "Sure, if by 'coming up' you mean in a few months," and then in a softer voice, "my twenty-first."

He whistled, "I remember that birthday, it was a good one," pause, "a very good one."

"Toki! You better not be suggesting what I think you are! Would you tell Reika this story?"

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Believe me, Reika knows." She rolled her eyes, but gouldn't help giggling.

"So what are you going to do to celebrate?"

"Not much. With all that's happened," she avoided eye contact, "I'm hoping for a kind of quiet birthday this year. It's the first one since… well you know."

He squeezed her hand gently, "Usagi…" he began but she cut him off with a shake of her head, "Fine we won't talk about it, but I think you are being crazy! This is a big birthday! You know the girls would agree. They are going to be in town aren't they?" He regretted the question almost instantly. He closely studied her face, looking for any tell-tale signs, but she kept herself carefully composed. Though she might have looked a little bit less happy than she had when she had walked in, but he couldn't actually say she looked particularly sad, more contemplative than anything.

"I'm not sure," she quietly replied, "but I think they're all planning on being here."

"All! Wow!" again without thinking, "how long has it been since you guys were all together?"

"Probably not since my last birthday," it was almost a whisper now. Once again he put his hand over hers, forcing her to look into his comforting eyes.

"Have you told them yet?"

"Toki," she sighed, her voice gradually becoming more normal, "it's hardly the kind of thing you say over the phone or in a letter!"

"They'd want to know Usa!"

"And I'll tell them next time I see them in person, but it has to be in person!"

He sighed, "I just hope you know what you're doing." She rolled her eyes at him and then studied him while tilting her head a little bit.

"I thought I told you to stop worrying about me, Motoki-Oniisan."

"It's not that simple, you're like a sister to me! Not to mention my most loyal customer… and one of my best employees!"

She got another contemplative look in her eyes and reached over, putting her hands on his shoulders, "Absolute honesty time, Motoki?" He looked into her impossibly blue eyes and nodded, though for some reason he felt a little uneasy, like he was afraid of what she was going to say.

Taking a sip of the mostly untouched milkshake she began, "We don't talk about it much, ever really, but you know who I am right? Or I suppose who I was; there hasn't really been a need for that lately. But I mean you know who Ami and Rei and Makoto and Minako are? Mamoru too, I think," she waited for a response and satisfied by his nod went on, "my other friends, Setsuna, Haruka, Michuru, and even Hotaru are senshi."

"I did always wonder…" she smiled at him approvingly; it wasn't the easiest thing to override the powerful identity protection spells that often even interfered with a person's sense of logic.

*** "Well there's something you don't know, that no one knows except for us," she sighed in preparation for her story, "in the deep, DEEP past the planets of the solar system, all inhabited, were united under a single confederacy, the leader of which was the Queen of the Moon, Serenity IX at the time in which this story takes place. The Moon Kingdom possessed a powerful object, a crystal, that was believed to have almost unlimited power, meaning it could be a great instrument of good or of evil, depending on who held its allegiance. For this reason, the planes, Earth excluded, all trained their respective princesses to protect the Lunarian one. The princesses of Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were named the Guardian Scouts and sent directly to the moon to guard the moon princess in person as sailor senshi. The other four, the ones from Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto stood guard from outposts at various points within the galaxy."

"Why didn't the Earth send anyone? And what about Sailor Moon?"

"You catch on quick, don't you Toki?" he blushed at the slight praise, "To answer your question, the Earth was considered the youngest of the planets and was not yet an official member of the alliance. It was viewed by the others as something of a fledgling. Not to mention, I think it is fair to say that the people of Earth didn't quite trust the outside world, making things very difficult. Much of Serenity IX's reign was devoted to the further integration of the Earth, but, in the end, it was not meant to be," her voice had become sad, but Motoki made no move to stop her, he sensed she needed this.

"The daughter of Queen Serenity was named in her mother's honor and was relatively well thought of within the alliance, most believing that, with some maturing, she had the potential to be a fine queen someday. A promise that was never fulfilled, I'm afraid.

"As I said, Lunarian and Terran relations were often strained, so much so that an official ban was placed on direct, non-sanctioned, contact between the two worlds…"

"But why?" his outburst surprised her, she hadn't imagined he would be so engaged in a story that must seem so removed to him.

"It was a strange time," she mused. "and I suppose that things had become so tense that there was a fear that even the smallest of conflicts could erupt into war," her silence lasted for a whole minute, "I suppose they were right," a smaller pause, "The princess broke the laws of her people by going to the Earth anyway. There she met and fell in love with the Terran prince, Endymion. Such an act indeed proved too much for the worlds to handle and, albeit with the help of an extra-dimensional demon, the Earth eventually declared war. By the time the existence of the demon, the true person to blame, was found, it was too late, the damage already done and the Silver Millennium ended. The Lunarians were entirely decimated, most of the other planets faired only slightly better."

"And the Earth," it occurred to Motoki that this was a silly question, after all he was currently standing on the planet, clearly it had survived, but he had felt compelled to ask anyway.

"The Earth? Well the Earth survived with the least amount of damage and naturally went on to become the sole power in the galaxy, mostly due to Serenity IX's final efforts. You see she used the last of powers to cleanse the planets of the evil that had invaded their peace and ensured the rebirth of all that had died in the brutal conflict; she died in doing so."

"Now, don't get me wrong, Usa, this is seriously fascinating, but I'm not entirely clear and why you're telling me this now. I was under the impression you didn't much like talking about your OTHER job."

"Well no, I suppose I don't, but I think it's important you know this so you can understand some other things I'm planning on telling you, that is if you stop interrupting."

"Fine, no more interruptions, but only if you explain about the Sailor Moon thing; I didn't forget, you know."

"No, but I was hoping you would," looking back down at the counter and her drink, "there was no Sailor Moon in the past," he didn't really notice that a hint of bitterness had crept into her voice.

"But if all the other senshi… who are y… No! You're the moon princess?"

"Hey," she cried while laughing at him, "son't sound so surprised! And besides I'm not really, just her reincarnation."

"Just a reincarnation," he mumbled, "WAIT! Does that mean Mamoru is Prince of the Earth? You've got to be kidding?"

"You don't have much faith in your best friend, do you?"

"Well that's just it, he's MY BEST FRIEND! I've known him all my life! He can't be a Prince!" he paused and his eyebrows pinched together, "but wait, if you guys are… are royalty… um, well doesn't that mean one day you are going to, oh I don't know ascend or something?"

Sensing his emotional turmoil, she placed a reassuring hand on his arm and said, "I've seen the future, Toki, and believe me, you have nothing to worry about."

"What do you mean you've seen the future?"

"It's a very long story, one involving time-travelling, pink haired offspring, but don't worry about it, okay? The future will come when it comes, nothing to be afraid of," directed to him and his future, her words were completely true, but she wasn't entirely sure about her own, a point she wisely chose not to mention. Instead she settled on giving him another huge grin and taking another sip of the milkshake.

"But here's the point," she finally said, "the reason why I told you this is I don't think you believe me when I say I'm dine with my friends not being here, but you have to take my word for it when I tell you I am truly happy…"

"Usa…"

"Don't 'Usa' me, Motoki! Really I am! See the thing is they aren't just my reincarnated guards, you know? They're my friends, my best friends, family really and I can't stand to see them unhappy, especially if it's because of me. They would stay with me forever out of duty; die for me without any hesitation… They actually have… multiple times," her voice was soft, "but I don't want that for them. And, in the future, there may come a time when they will have to be full time senshi, but for right now, their lives should be their own. I couldn't stand it if some time down the line they realized there were all of these things they wanted to do and they hadn't because of me and some stupid pledge they made thousands of years ago!"

"Usa," he smiled down at her, "I don't think they do it because of some stupid pledge or out of a sense of duty."

"Don't you think I know that? Believe me, I'm perfectly aware that they love me, but I love them too! And that means I have to do everything I can to make sure they're happy! And they are happy! I hear in their voices when they call or see it in the letters that they write, and there are a lot of calls and letters! And yes, I do get a little sad sometimes, a little lonely perhaps, but when I see proof of how happy they are, it makes me happy. And not just kind of happy, or happy with a little bit of sadness, but genuinely happy! Besides…"

"Okay, okay," he knew if he didn't stop her she might go on forever, "I believe you! But don't you think…" his voice died at the uncharacteristic but highly frightening glare on her face, "fine, you know what you're doing, I trust you."

"That's all I'm asking! Now, perhaps we should open up the arc…" her voice was lost in a choking noise and her skin turned pale."

"Usagi, what's…"

"Get down!" she forcefully grabbed his arm and shoved him behind the counter, swiftly joining him on the other side. After a moment's pause, "Do you see four men standing out there? Carefully he peeked out from the top of the counter and nodded, her eyes were tightly closed however, forcing him to whisper his response.

"Does one of them have long platinum blond hair" another confirmation, "and another, very tall with wavy brown hair, about as long as the first guy?"

"Yes and the other two look a little younger, one with dirty blond hair in a ponytail and the other with shorter hair about my color."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear her; he did.

"Usa, who are they?"

"Shitennou," at the sound of the name, though he couldn't imagine how they could have heard her voice, the four men turned toward the door of the arcade.

"It's not locked!" she hissed, immediately standing up and clutching a broach he had never seen her without.

The men entered and, upon seeing her, their eyes lit up.

"Don't take a step further!" she yelled.

"Your highness!" platinum's voice was deeper than Motoki had expected. Based on the way the men stood, Motoki assumed him to be the leader and, despite Usagi's obvious distress, he couldn't help but notice the genuine joy in the men's features, telling Motoki at least the men meant no harm.

"We've found you!" continued the brunette, "We were worried!" Then, in a move that shocked Usagi, the four men got on their knees and bowed.

"Usa!" Motoki made it just in time to catch her before her head it the floor.****

*Besides her friends being far away from her, Usagi does have one other major thing to be upset about, but you guys will find out what specifically later. Also, I struggle to imagine a defeated Usagi, it just doesn't seem like that's how she would behave. Her behavior and personality has been altered a little bit because of all that's happened (and general growing up nonsense), but I envision it making her stronger, not colder or darker as some like to see it.

**For some reason when I try and come up with what Usagi does with her life after University I can't quite decide what it is specifically she's doing, and instead see her working as many odd jobs as possible. I see her as having worked really hard in school and having a lot of odd skills, but not sure what she wants to do with it. And I think with her personality, if she doesn't have her loved ones to channel her energy to, then she would need something else, in this case a bunch of jobs, to throw herself into. I think that she is drifting right now, and semi-purposefully making sure she doesn't have anything that's tying her down to the world.

***So the following story is one you've heard MANY TIMES before, but rarely does Usagi get to tell it or reflect upon it… She does now! Also, I am taking to opportunity to flesh out the nature and politics of the Silver Millennium… Yay! (For instance, I address why the Earth did not have a senshi and why contact was forbidden… two things that never felt very well explained to me.)

****So such was the ending of this chapter. I would definitely say that the biggest liberties I've taken with the story involve the Shitennou and Motoki. Looking just at the manga, there really isn't that much to go on with these characters so I've adopted a lot of what has become part of the general fanon, meaning I've played up the sibling type relationship between Motoki and Usagi, more prevalent in the anime, and I've brought back the Shitennou because who doesn't love a little Shitennou? By the by, I'll probably call Kunzite by his American name (Malachite). Not because I like it better, but because there are just zero percent good nicknames for Kunzite, but Malachite you can work with (and because of the nature of their return, they don't have new names in this new life).

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**REPLIES TO REVIEWERS!**

Wyra: My dear, thank you for your response. I too find the lack of these stories a little surprising, because there is just so much potential in writing about these uncovered "in-between times". I hope you like the direction I'm going to take the story in, it's just a little radical, but (hopefully) logical in a crackpot theory kind of way!

Bin82501 and loveinthebattlefield: Thank you for the encouraging words, without you where would I be? Actually I'd probably still be where I am right now: at my computer, at three in the morning. BUT I'd sure be much less happy without your reviews!

cosmic-s-h-o-o-t-i-n-g-stars: No you are fantastic! I am super pleased that you like it so far and I hope that continues! I promise, I will deliver you safely to a Crystal Tokyo in sync with the one found in the canon and I hope the vehicle I've chosen to take you in works well for you (it's a hot pink batmobile that sings on its own, by the way)!

dainlord: As for you, my lovely, I am glad you like it! With regards to your summary suggestion, no worries my friend. In what I'm envisioning to be the fourth chapter (the one where Usagi, that minx, brings four guys back to her apartment), the details of everyone's life is going to be made A LOT more clear. That summary was thrown in there to give people a general treasure map to where there headed, but the specifics will be drawn in later.

Well until next time my duckies! Look out for the next chapter, brilliantly entitled "I'm not Bad, I'm Just Drawn that Way" (ten points to the house of your choice if you can tell me what that is a reference to)!


	3. We're Not Bad, We're Just Drawn that Way

(When you read this know that I'm avoiding eye contact right now) Well dearests, what can I say except I'm very, VERY sorry! Exam season just kind of crept up on me and there was just NO TIME to update. Happily, the evil month that is May is over, the worst of June has left the building and I'm now free to devote myself entirely to you! As always my commentary can be found at the bottom along with my responses to my fairest-of-them-all reviewers. So let's go sailing somewhere beyond the sea shall we?

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**We're Not Bad, We're Just Drawn That Way**

Waking up was a slow process for her. She found herself stuck in a fog and was not entirely sure she wanted to leave it: though she hated the feeling of unawareness, but at least it was peaceful. But reality couldn't be held off indefinitely so with a groan she opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry, but she recognized the brown and grey colored blob enough to say, "Oh Neph! Goodness, I must have fallen asleep. You should tell your Prince he shouldn't keep me waiting so long! I'll have to go back home soon; I'm sure the girls will be here any minute."* Awareness suddenly hit her in full force and she bolted up with a yell.

"Neph!" she groaned, "Nephrite, I mean, you CAN'T be here!" She turned to see the other three Shitennou staring at her, concern was etched on Zoicite's and Malachite's faces, but Jadeite's had a look of pure amusement.

"And you," she said, jabbing a finger at the grinning man, "there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to laugh about!" Unfortunately her anger didn't stop him, "some things never change!" she finally huffed.

"And some things do," Nephrites looked at Usagi worriedly, "Princess, are you alright?" The concern in his eyes made her blink a few times, but it didn't hold her at bay for long.

"And that's another thing! You can't just be throwing out things like 'Princess' and 'Your Highness' so lightly! People might hear you! I mean sure it was only Motoki this time… Oh my god! Where's Motoki?"

"I'm right here! I thought you might need some water when you finally woke up," Motoki placed the glass of water in front of her and placed a kiss on her forehead. She placed her hand on his to calm his worries and took a sip of the water while he went back to wiping down the counter.

"You know," Motoki chose to break the awkward silence that had settled around them, "I think you're getting a little less loud in your hold age, there might have been some people who didn't hear you in Brazil," this comment earned him a chuckle from Jadeite, whom she eyed warily.

"I'm sorry Toki, this is kind of a strange situation and I'm just a little freaked." He nodded at her and gave her a comforting look, to which she smiled at, letting him know she was fine. He shrugged and began wiping down the tables farthest away from the booth where the five were congregating, though he made sure to keep an eye on her.

"You have no reason to be, uh, 'freaked', as you put it. Princess we onl…" the rest of Malachite's speech was cut off by a sharp Usagi.

"I told you! No more 'Princess'! My name is Usagi! U-sa-g… Oh my god!" she threw herself back onto the booth seat she was resting on and covered her face with her hands, "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! So very stupid!"

"Princess," she removed one hand just enough to glare at Nephrite, "Right, sorry. Usagi," her hand went back to covering her face, "you don't have to worry; we aren't here to harm you. I know it might be hard for you to accept, but we've been cleansed. Use your crystal and search us. If you see we're telling the truth than we should go somewhere more private and talk; if not, you can kill us right now." She was immediately struck by the sincerity of his words, but was still concerned. Her internal conflict however was interrupted by a fight that broke out between the two youngest Shitennou.

"Be quiet Jadeite! Age, not shoe size!"

"You be quiet, Zoi! I don't want to die!"

"You won't, there isn't anything to be afraid of," but before Jadeite could come up with a good reply they heard the sound of giggling. They turned to see the former moon princess laughing at them. Jadeite glared at her, only making her laugh harder.

When she finally stopped she tilted her head and studied the four men, "You know," her voice was quietly contemplative, "I think I might believe you. Even you, Jade," she finished with a small smile.

"You should make sure anyway," Malachite's serious voice cut through the happy atmosphere that Usagi's words had created. She looked at him and her eyes grew sad as she realized he was asking as much for his benefit and as for hers. It saddened her to know he was so plagued by guilt. With a nod she sat up, back straight, and closed her eyes, missing out on the stunned expression on the five men's faces when she began to glow and the crescent moon appeared on her forehead. This lasted for a minute or so during which they all, Motoki especially, became increasingly worried.

The experience of the Shitennou were all very different for each of the four** and, as they would later tell people, nearly impossible to describe. The feeling of the crystal, essentially a pure fragment of the girl's soul, was intensely moving. The light and warmth was so strong that it caused them to feel both great joy and great pain simultaneously. They felt exposed, but there was no shame, just an infinite amount of love and joy.

She opened her eyes with a sigh, "Well," she said quietly, "if they weren't goo before, they are now." She stared at the four men who remained motionless, and, knowing she had no choice but to wait, got up and walked over to Motoki.

"If you don't close your mouth, you're going to catch some flies," she nudged him with her shoulder to make her point.

Finally he looked down at her, "you really are the moon princess."

"No, Motoki, I'm Usagi Tsukino," he was surprised by how old she suddenly looked, "I want you to remember that."***

"Hey the four princes are starting to wake up, must have been some strong spell you put on them though."

She looked him straight in the eye and said, "I looked into their souls."

"Sure you did, Usa," he rolled his eyes.

"It's quite an experience, one I doubt any of them will soon forget." She wasn't sure, but she thought there might have been some fear in his eyes.

As Nephrite began to wake up from his trance, he felt several disorienting sensations, one of which was a severe lack of balance. Fortunately before he could completely collapse a smaal but strong hand grabbed hold of him.

"Serenity, thank you," they both knew he wasn't' just saying it for preventing his fall so she decided to let the Serenity thing go.

"How are you feeling?" she asked kindly.

"I'm a little shaky, I'll admit, but otherwise I feel excellent!" he stood up tall and bowed to her, sweeping his arm out as he did so; she giggled at his antics.

"Soooo," Motoki drew out the sound, "I'm Motoki Furuhata," he put his hand out to shake Nephrite's.

"Oh! Motoki I'm sorry!" she took a second to calm herself and taking a deep breath, "Motoki, this is Nephrite, second in command of the Shitennou, the ancient guards of Prince Endymion," she turned to the other man, "Neph, this is Motoki, his family owns the fine establishment we are currently standing in."

"Call me Toki, everyone else does."

"Well then I'm Neph," the two shared a smile and immediately felt a sense of camaraderie.

"So when are the others going to wake up?"

"Oh I don't think it will be too much longer," Usagi looked downed her watch and then turned to Motoki with an upset face, "Oh gosh, Motoki! It's already 11:00! You were supposed to open an hour ago! Oh I just feel terrible!"

"Don't worry about it Usa, these things happen," she rolled her eyes, "well actually they don't, but I understand anyway," she frowned but acquiesced, turning her back to them so she could focus on the three immobile men, leaving the other two to talk.

Handing his companion a glass of water Motoki addressed Nephrite, "So how come you've snapped out of it, but the other three are still, uh, napping over there?"

Nephrite laughed at his terminology, "Well, and I'm sort of simplifying a really very complicated process here, an effect of what Ser… I mean Usagi did…"

"Which was what exactly?"

"You aren't going to make this easy. As for what she did, let's just call it a cleansing."

"Did she really, um, 'look into your soul'?"

"Is that how she described it," he chuckled, "and yes she did. Anyway, an effect of this 'soul cleansing' is that you're forced to take a really hard look at yourself and your past," Nephrite suddenly grew very sad.

"Not so pretty?"

"To put it mildly; none of us our proud, but it's harder for a few of us than others, especially Malachite."

"The one with the silly, platinum hair?"

Another chuckle, "I'm afraid so. Not to mention," he added as Zoicite and Jadeite began to stir, "some of us have a little less to be ashamed of." The jarring waking up process was repeated with the two younger men and then they were also introduced to Motoki, leaving the five to wait for Malachite.

"This is crazy!" Usagi exclaimed after several minutes passed, "I mean who knows how long this could take?"

"Calm down, princess," she glared at Jadeite, it didn't matter that he was only calling her that to annoy her, "it's not like there's anything you can do."

"Well that's not strictly true…" the three Shitennou looked at her in alarm.

"I think I'm missing something," Motoki said to Nephrite.

"A big something," Zoicite's tone was grave, "Usagi, that could be dangerous," he began, but was quickly cut off.

"It could also be dangerous leaving him as a vegetable forever!"

"It could leave you a vegetable forever!" Jadeite joined in, genuinely worried for the petite woman.

"Look, Mal has some serious guilt he needs to work through and I'm not so sure he can do it on his own. Beside," she added in a devious tone, causing Nephrite and Motoki to share a look, "I'm not really asking." With that she went up and touched Malachite's shoulder, causing her to become as still as he was.

"Was she this… spunky before?" Jadeite carefully walked her body over to the closest booth and sat her down. Zoicite shook his head as he did the same for his leader and friend.

"I think there will be a lot of things that will surprise us in this new life," the two blondes turned to a contemplative Nephrite at the counter, "and maybe that's a good thing."****

*Back in the Silver Millennium, out of all of Endymion's guards, Serenity was closest with Neph. She was also really close with Jade though in a teasing, little brother kind of way. As a result, those two were the most supportive of Serenity and Endymion's affair. Mal and Zoi loved Serenity too, but it was in a quieter kind of way and both were a little too cautious to be outright supportive of the affair, at least in the beginning. We can only guess what (or who) changed their minds *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*.

**In my head I have a very clear idea of each of the Shitennou's personalities. To be honest I don't know how much of this is my own thoughts and how much comes from their portrayals in other fanfictions. As per usual, Malachite (honestly I do prefer Kunzite, but I already mentioned the whole nickname thing… siiigh…) is doing the whole strong and silent thing, especially in the beginning because he can be kind of shy and unsure of himself in non-battle type situations. Also, Mal is definitely the one who is the most damaged by the whole turning evil. Neph is a total charmer, but not in a smarmy way, but is also wise. Jadeite, though he isn't the youngest, is the most immature and is also a charmer, but kind of IN the smarmy way. Finally Zoi is, of course, the most intelligent and even though he and Jade fight all the time, the two are really close.

***This whole conflict between Serenity and Usagi is kind of the central themes of this little fanfiction and, in my opinion, is one of the most interesting things to think about in this universe. I think certain scenes in the manga imply that there actually wasn't that big of a difference between the two while the anime seems to show the total opposite. Both agree, however, that there is apparently a huge difference between Usa and the Neo-Queen, a fact that has always bothered me.

****So this was a chapter right? Now you've gotten the opportunity to meet the Shitennou 2.0. The next chapter will start with an in depth psychological look at the twisted inner workings of Mal's twisted inner self! Yay! Can you say party! (Go ahead and practice saying party while I wait.) After that will take a tour of Usa's new place, find out exactly where all of our old friends are (super yay!) and maybe even see one or two of them… Hmmmm…. So check back, REVIEW, and I will see you very soon, my precious(s).

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**NOTES TO THE LOVLIEST PEOPLE IN THE UNIVERSE!**

(and yeah I like to take what people say in their reviews and say it back to them… it's meant to be sweet, not mocking!)

Wyra: You know I really think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship! And most (ironic) def, I think Usagi is often too outwardly focused to think about her own future. Her dreams really are all about seeing other people happy! Lastly, I seriously love how informed you are on the manga! It's gorgeous!

Bin82501: And I love you! Let the unfolding of the story commence now!

Jovian Sun: Thank you for appreciating the "Rabbit" pun! And PLEASE don't remind me about Crystal Tokyo! I still have 100% faith that Crystal Tokyo IS happening… Even though nothing was ever said about what the rest of the world outside of the city of Crystal Tokyo looked like… Hey! Maybe it has already happened!

cosmic-s-h-o-o-t-i-n-g-stars: And I'm still loving you (and your name)! Thanks for the encouragement!

Serandi82: I like where you're going! I hope you like the big dose of Shitennou in this chapter and continue to enjoy what I'm doing with this story! And "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" should be everyone's favorite movie! 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR! (I'm a lion too, by the way!)

LoveInTheBattleField: And here it comes! Let's just hope it will KEEP coming at a reasonable pace!

KHLostEmpress: You actually do have a point about the nicknames and I definitely think that without the influence of his best friend (Endy), lover-type-person (Mina), and all of his other friends probably softened up a bit. In my head he's really a big teddy bear at heart! As for the circumstances that led to the Shitennou being where they are, that will be dealt with in the next chapter. Though, for the record, they're in Tokyo because it's like the "destined land" and Usa was just the first they came across. (Not surprising considering she's the only one currently in Japan.) They were really just looking for any one from their old life. Like I said to the others, I hope you keep liking what I do with it!


	4. The Ghosts Past, Present, and Future

Well what can I say? Guilt is a powerful motivator! So here is the next chapter, lickety-split (I'm excited that that is how it's actually spelled and that I had it right the first time!) though remember, knowing me such due diligence can't always be expected… I'm a little capricious, whataya gonna do 'bout it?

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**The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future**

Usagi opened her eyes to a sight that both was and wasn't familiar, a place that both was and wasn't her home. She had never seen the ruins of the Moon Kingdom like this. Her sporadic memories had allowed her to see the beautiful kingdom in three states so far: there had been multiple visions of it before the war started, when it was the very embodiment of peace and love, then there had been a view scattered views of the palace as the Dark Kingdom began its attack, and one after it had fallen, right before a lost princess had taken her own life and a lost queen had sealed everything else away.*

Her current situation was most similar to the last and for the first time she realized she had never really seen it before. The focus had always been on her final act as Princess Serenity, the desolation she was now viewing had merely been the backdrop. But now, things were much too vivid to be ignored. The sight and, even worse, the scents of war were all too much. It was all thankfully silent though, which helped her pretend that this site wasn't rooted in reality.

She walked toward what had once been a palace, knowing that that is where he and the form of several of her friends would be. And that is where she found him, in the center of the ruins, a once magnificent courtyard. He was on his knees amongst the dead bodies of the Guardian Senshi and the Prince and Princess. He seemed torn between the pale Venetian goddess and the Earthly prince. Sensing her presence, without turning, he said, "You shouldn't have come, Usagi."

She gave an extremely un-royal snort, "And you shouldn't stay. Besides, I've done a lot of things I was told I shouldn't. You could almost say that it's starting to become my thing," he turned to her with a startled expression, but otherwise said nothing. He maintained the pose for as long as he could but eventually his face crumbled.

"Did you really kill yourself, Serenity?" he refused to look at her.

She had no idea how to answer him, especially considering what she had begun to suspect about what she must soon do. She avoided looking at the body of the girl they were discussing and chose to sit on a crumbled column that allowed her to ignore that area completely. Eventually she settled on, "Serenity was never much of a fighter."

"But you are, aren't you, Usagi?" he had gotten up so quickly and grabbed her wrists that all she could do was blink.

After a minute of prolonged eye contact she finally answered with a forced chuckle, "Hey, it's not like I relish it or anything," she shrugged, "it keeps the people I love safe, what else matters?"

"You've never been tempted have you?" her examined her closely though what he was looking for she couldn't say, "I mean in this or any other life, no matter what, you always… you always stay… you," he looked helpless as his words failed him, "You don't give up… You stay, you stay," his head finally bowed down, "you always stay loyal." His hands dropped from hers and he crumbled to the ground in front of her.

Her heart reached out to the broken man, but she wasn't sure what her approach with him should be. In the end she settled for her oldest tactic: her best, bone-crushing hug. To say he was shocked was an understatement, but he, like everyone else, could not long resist the earnest love she always gave so freely. The two had been friends once and would probably be so again, if only she could get him to forgive himself.

"Mal," he looked up at his old nickname with the faintest of smiles, "I need you to listen to me, it's important. And no more of this looking down at the ground, it doesn't have anything left to tell you."

"Stop trying to make light of this."

"Stop focusing on the dark then," she grabbed his hands, "Seriously Mal, you need to forgive yourself."

"How can I do that, Sere? I betrayed everyone! I was the leader of the Shitennou! If I had stayed loyal then the others would have too! Maybe things would have worked out differently! Maybe… Are you laughing?"

"Yes, but only a little bit," she took his glare as a sign that he was loosening up. Forcing her face into a very serious expression she went on to say, "Yes, of course. You're right; this is not a moment for laughter, but really! You can't honestly be blaming the entire collapse of the Silver Millennium on yourself. Believe it or not I think that was something of a team effort."

"Is everything going to be a joke then?"

"Only when it's funny! You know, personally, I think if we're going to put all of the blame on someone I think it would be Endymion." With a disbelieving laugh he turned himself so he and Usagi were sitting next to each other against the column. "No seriously! If he hadn't been all annoying and perfect then Beryl would never have gone all crazy and then none of this ever would have happened!"

"Stop it, this isn't funny."

"No I don't think it is," she gave him a meaningful stare.

"That's different and you know it."

She shrugged, "Maybe, but not by much. Look here's the thing: I don't even really blame Beryl for everything that happened so there's no way you're going to get me to blame you."

"What do you mean you don't blame Beryl?"

"A lot has changed since you've… left. I've faced Metalia and I've faced Chaos and after looking both of them…" he put an arm around her when she shivered. "You might not be able to see it, but you are good. I've seen it, remember!" she waited for a response but the most she got was an eye roll, "hey, you're going to have to work with me here."

Choosing to side step the issue he went with, "Are the other three alright."

"Well they woke up, so to speak, but I imagine they're far from alright, at least not until you join them."

"And what about you?"

"Well that's the best thing about it: we're sort of a package deal now."

"You could leave if you wanted to, couldn't you, without me I mean."

"I'm not entirely sure, but I can't imagine wanting to leave without you so I think the point is a little moot."

"You really are insufferable, you know."

"It's something I've taken years to perfect," her tone grew more serious, "you're coming back aren't you. I suppose you don't actually have to, but there'd be a lot of people who'd be really disappointed if you did. I mean I've already forgiven you for your past, but I don't know if I'd forgive you for staying here."

"Please, you forgive everything. You're much too disposed to ignoring the faults in others."

"Hey, you don't know me in this time. I will have you know, I'm mean now. Very, very, very mean," she did her best not to smile, but could only hold off nature for so long.

"Oh please, I don't even think you know what being mean means."

"Well maybe not, but it doesn't mean I haven't hurt people," she grew truly sober then, something that worried Malachite.**

"Even if I did believe you, I'm sure you weren't going out of your way to hurt people."

"And you were? Metalia brainwashed you, and you might want to sit there and feel bad because you think you let her do it, but honestly, what could you have done? Metalia wasn't invincible, but she was powerful, really powerful and once she really focused on a person, I don't know if anyone could have stood up against her. Please stop torturing yourself, it won't accomplish anything. The past is over, and if you really want to do something you're gonna have to look toward the future. Prove how sorry you are, but don't throw everything away because of… because of this," she gestured to the Lunarian ruins, "it's just a memory now." He didn't notice some of the bitterness that had crept into her voice near the end.

"It seems pretty real to me."

"Yes, well, that is because you have a very active imagination."

"I didn't imagine this."

"Fine, a good memory then. But it's still not reason enough for you to stay here."

A prolonged silence followed this, finally broken by something Malachite said that was too low for Usagi's ears. "I asked what she's like in this life."

She did not need to ask what she he was referring to and instead gave him a smile that would have melted even the hardest of hearts, "Well her name in Minako Aino now.*** Though most people just call her Mina."****

"Mina," he tried out the name, smiling as he did so.

"But name aside I'd say she's pretty much the same as she ever was: silly and serious in equal amounts and the best friend you could ever ask for."

"What is she doing now?"

"Oh no, if you want the full story you're going to have to work for it. I'll tell you everything you might wish to know, but not here."

"You're plan all along I suppose."

"Oh no, you've caught me. But tell me, has my dastardly plan worked?" she sighed as she studied his face, "you'll have to let go eventually, forgive yourself. Look, I'm going to get up and walk right over there," she pointed to a mostly untouched garden that wouldn't have been visible had the palace not been torn down, "and when you're ready we're going to go, okay?" Again she studied him, but apparently found enough to satisfy her. She brushed a hand against his cheek and then walked away to give him some privacy, stopping only for a second to stare down at the body of her past life.

She walked carefully so as to avoid stepping on anything and soon found herself in the garden she had pointed to earlier. She smiled slightly when she spotted a small group of flowers that had apparently survived the siege. As she got closer to the ghost flowers she discovered a pool of water that she hadn't seen before and sat on its edge. She didn't entirely understand where she was right now; they hadn't really been transported to the moon, Queen Serenity wasn't somewhere making her last desperate wish, but everything seemed so real. The water certainly felt real enough for something that was supposed to just be a background item in a man's memory.

It's the crystal, she thought. It's always the crystal, another part of her answered. What in your life isn't about the crystal? With a sigh she brought her face forward enough to be reflected in the water. She stayed that way for the rest of her wait and did not notice when she was joined by Malachite who frowned to see such a sad look on the girl.

Deciding he could take it no longer he cleared his throat and said, "Do you not like what you see?"

"Bad hair day," she said mechanically, blinking a few times to clear her head.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not the only one who's being haunted by a few ghosts?"

She turned to him with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "Because you're paranoid."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not even remotely."

"Do you need to talk about it anyway?"

This time the smile did reach her eyes, "Maybe, but I don't think I will."

"Always choosing the healthy option, right?"

"Of course," beat, "are we going back now?"

"I think it's about time, don't you." They walked arm in arm after that, in no particular direction, "I don't suppose you know how we get back, do you."

"I'm not entirely sure specifically, but I have a feeling our way out will find us; it's how these things normally work."

"Normally? You do this a lot, do you?"

"Oh you know what I mean. Maybe we haven't left because…" her voice faded out, "I think I just found the exit sign." He followed her eyes to a bright white light very far off in the distance.

"Is it getting closer?"

"Like I said, these kinds of things find us. There's something familiar about all of this… beyond the setting, obviously," she turned to him, "How did you say you four ended up in Tokyo?"

"I don't think I did. It's a little complicated actually. Why're you asking?"

"Because I think I've just figured something out," she tilted her head, "what would you say if I told you that you might have to go back by yourself? Just for a little while of course."

"I'd say you're crazy if you think I'm leaving you here alone!"

"Crazy sounds about right actually. And I won't be alone."

"That isn't comforting actually. Sere, what are you talking about?"

"I don't think that light is for you… It isn't a big deal or anything… I just think there's someone here who wants to see me… It would explain… Well it would explain a few things about all of this actually."

"Well I've already told you, I'm not going."

"That's really very sweet, but you really don't have a choice." His eyes widened when he saw the glowing crescent moon on her forehead and had no time to react to as she placed a glowing hand on his shoulder.

The trip back to consciousness was jarring and when he finally opened his eyes, Malachite found himself sitting in a booth across from a glowing Princess Serenity, gown and all. He was very glad that the blinds were still down.

"Look who has joined the living!" an ecstatic Jadeite was suddenly clapping his back, "we were getting worried."

"But Serenity hasn't," Zoicite didn't look half as happy as his brother in arms, who, at Zoicite's words, noticed the still unmoving princess for the first time.

"But I don't understand," he said frowning, "Mal, why isn't she awake?"

"I'm not sure I understand myself, but when she does wake up I'll kill her."

"You'd have to get in a long line," Motoki had just come in from the back, "Usa sometimes has that effect on people… Does things without thinking… It makes people worry about her a lot, which is probably a little silly since I've never met anyone who's better at making things work out," Malachite just stared at the man.

Holding back a laugh Nephrite stepped in, "Malachite, this is Motoki. He's a good friend of Usa's."

Malachite got up and shook hands with Motoki, "Then it is an honor to meet you," turning back to Nephrite, "How long as she been in that form?"

"I'd say maybe a few minutes before you woke up. But I'm surprised, wasn't she like that wherever it was that you were."

"The emblem on her forehead appeared right before she sent me back, but she wasn't dressed like that, at least not while I was there."

"She sent you back," Jadeite snickered, "like she just waved her hand and you were gone?" He turned to see Zoicite glaring at him, "Yeah, yeah, I know; age, not shoe size!"

"Are they always like this?" Motoki was back at the counter talking to Nephrite, he poured some coffee for himself and for his companion and then, after thinking it over for a second, another for Malachite who took the invitation and sat down with Nephrite.

"I'm afraid so, but you get used to it after a while."

"A long while," Malachite added. He took a sip of the coffee, "this is very good coffee."

"Thanks, Mamoru was a big fan too."

"Mamoru is Endymion's current incarnation," Nephrite answered Malachite's questioning look.

"Is he here in Tokyo?"

"No, Massachusetts…" he smiled at their blank stares, "It's in America… On the other side of the world…"

"But why wouldn't he be with Serenity?" Zoicite and Jadeite had finally stopped bickering and made it to the counter.

"Because, Zoi," they were surprised by the sudden introduction of a new voice, "Mamoru wanted to go to America and we are all very proud of him." They turned to see a de-transformed Usagi with her eyes still closed. Before the Shitennou could react Motoki was already at her booth with a white Styrofoam cup in his hands.

"Thought you might want this," her eyes fluttered open and looked up appreciatively at the blond man.

"My usual?"

"Wouldn't dream of making anything else."

She took a sip of the chocolate milkshake and broke out in a smile, "And the perfect temperature; how do you do it, Toki?"

"You have your secrets, I have mine," she gave him another smile and then stood up using Motoki's arm for support. "Are you alright?"

"A little tired, but otherwise fine. I just had a conversation that took a lot out of me." Motoki raised his eyebrows, but decided not to ask.

"You leaving?"

"Thanks for making the drink to-go, more proof of your psychic powers," they shared another laugh before she made her way to the door. "You are coming aren't you?" she turned back to the four frozen men at the counter, "I don't remember you ever being this slow before."*****

*I'm sort of on the line about how Usa would think about Serenity, but I think when she's most aware of her surrounding she'll make the conscious decision to consider herself and Serenity separate, but when she isn't thinking she might slip into saying "I" when she thinks about the past. And I think that this is sort of the point: the person who is the most concerned with the distinction (and all the implications such a distinction carries about Usa's own identity) is Usa herself, while her friends never really think about, something I'm sure bothers Usa to no end.

**So I mentioned in the very first chapter that Usa is using magic to keep her friends away, however I'm still trying to figure out how much control over this she has. She does want to keep her friends away and the crystal is acting on this, the first wish of her heart, but that doesn't necessarily mean she actively set the whole thing up, you know? I think by the time of our story, she's probably completely aware of what's happening, didn't set out to do it in the beginning, but is also not particularly interested in stopping it.

***Okay so here's the thing, the name situation in the Silver Millennium really, REALLY bothers me! They obviously had to have names and I don't see how it is even kind of possible that their Earth names and their original names are the same SO… Honestly I don't have what it takes to invent names for their Millennium-selves; no matter what I pick I don't think that they would ever feel right. Therefore, if I should have to refer to them I'll just be boring and call them "Mercury", "Mars", "Jupiter", or "Venus"… Lame I know, but let's just pretend that those are actually really cute pet names and move on, yes? Okay good. Not to mention, since it seems that thinks were a bit more "regimental" in the Silver Millennium (like did the Senshi ever de-transform?) maybe they weren't actually on a first name basis with the Princess… Chibiusa did refer to Pluto as Puu so why not?

****Ack! Two in one paragraph! Gross I know, but, to be clear, I CAN'T do Japanese honorifics . To make my life easier if there is a nickname involved it will usually just involve a shortening of the original name… It might be lazy, but just allow me this, won't you? Pwease!

*****So in my head I was going to get a bit further in this chapter, but Usa and Mal just spent WAY too much time in their little well whatever you want to call it. Now don't worry your pretty little heads, you will find out more about the conversation Usa had, but feel free to make your own guesses! So whatever promises I made to you about what would happen in this chapter they now apply to the next one. Straight to Usa's apartment we will go and then it will be SENSHI STORY TIME! (The crowd goes wild!)

So now you know the drill! Review! Not for my sake, but for Usagi's! And the children! Besides, a happy me makes me more inclined to write so…

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**LETTERS TO THE FANS!**

Bin82501: Mostly because I absolutely love Usagi, I have to tell myself that her takeover of the globe is completely on the up-and-up but I can't help but worry! I also worry about the idea of her being completely lost to NQS! They are seriously distressing concepts! And thanks for the compliment on characterization! My favorite thing ever is to do dialogue so getting a feel on characters is a major deal for me. I like to think I do a good job, but it's always nice to hear it from someone else!

Wyra: Of all of the various Sailor-Moon-s the manga is my absolute favorite. I especially love the Death Busters and Stars arcs (how great are both of those endings?)! It makes me feel so special to know that I'm "blowing your mind"! I've spent a lot of time meditating on these characters and am just trying to connect the dots in the best way that I can. When Usa met Cosmos I don't think it was the kind of moment where she was like, "Oh so this is my ultimate future," but I do imagine she was deeply affected, even if she didn't know it. Just like she went through those physical changes when she discovered she was the Moon Princess, I think it's likely that her meeting with Cosmos (and Cosmos's kiss) might have triggered some kind of internal changes. I explore the effect that the Usa and Cosmos had on each other in this other fic I'm writing (unpublished as yet) that I might use as a sequel to this. And lastly, I really love that you felt the need to read this before you went to bed! I'll try and not publish so late next time!

cosmic-s-h-o-o-t-i-n-g-stars: I think we might just be sharing a similar sense of humor. There is nothing I love more than using titles of affection! So to you, my dearest darling, I thank you! ;D

LoveInTheBattleField: Did I mention that I really love your name? If I already did, then this just got really, really awkward. I will do my very best to comply with your wishes and will indeed keep it coming!

KHLostEmpress: The whole waking up as Serenity thing was something I wanted to try and after I put it in I decided I really liked it. I don't see myself ever writing a Silver Millennium piece (it's not a time period that interests me that much), but I did really enjoy the little bit of Serenity I got to write. My Usa is a little rough right now because she's trying to keep people at arm's length so I guess it was nice for her to be unguarded for a second. I'm sorry that I said some people might show up and then they didn't, but I promise SOON! If not the end of the next chapter, then DEFINITELY the beginning of the one after!


	5. The Apartment

So this seems like a pretty good time for an update… Not like unusually fast (like I'm desperate or something), but not insultingly slow to you guys… Yay! Harmony and balance! So let's git along little doggies!

The above is what I would have said had I posted this when I wanted to… Which was a crazy long time ago… Yeah, about that… Life is a little funny sometimes isn't it? No? No it isn't funny, you said? Oh… Well, let's just avoid eye contact for a while okay?

* * *

**The Apartment***

She refused to look back at them; they pretended not to be bothered by this. They decided not to ask where they were going, in fact, they decided not to talk to her at all. Something about her stance and gait made them think she wouldn't respond nicely. Having nothing else to do, the four eventually settled for talking quietly amongst themselves:

"It's strange about Endymion isn't it? I mean I can't imagine him choosing to be somewhere else from…" Zoicite shot the former Moon Princess a look, failing to notice the sudden tenseness in her shoulders.

"Yes, but I can't help but think this is something of a sensitive topic, perhaps one better left for another time." Nephrite never failed to notice the discomfort of others. Malachite immediately understood what Nephrite meant, but unfortunately he was the only one.

Jadeite shot Nephrite a slightly incredulous look, "Our Prince is lost somewhere on the other side of the world!"

"I don't think you were listening very carefully," Zoicite looked as though he was swallowing something unpleasant, "Jed, he isn't lost. He left of his own free will and chooses to stay away."

"But why would he…" Jadeite's face became blank as he considered several possibilities. Finally his brain arrived at the same conclusion all of the others had already come to. Suddenly he looked so upset that his three friends, even Malachite, briefly considered giving him a hug. "They can't have… It's not possible… Those two… they are still together aren't they?"

"We do not know," after Malachite's quiet words, the four realized they no longer wanted to look at each other. Awkwardness settled around the four, only broken with the arrival of the most surprising sound.

"Why don't we just leave it at 'it's complicated'," Usagi had trouble speaking through her laughter. In the opinion of the four it was a beautiful sound, but they sensed a lot of sadness in it too. Before they could ask her what was so funny, however, the laughter suddenly stopped. She also stopped walking, causing Jadeite to nearly run into her. For a moment they were worried that something was happening, but then realized that she was looking up intently at an apartment building across the street from them.

"That's where Mamoru's apartment was… is… I don't know who owns it now…" her voice was oddly flat, "it was right at the top… had a wonderful view of the city." She turned around to face them with a small comforting smile, "When he left he said I could use it. It just sort of made sense… By that point I was already sort of living there with him, but after he left… It felt off, being there… I didn't quite know what to do with myself," she tilted her head speculatively. "You should know Mamoru isn't the only one who left. Actually, at the moment I'm the only person left in Tokyo that you would know." She sighed again and looked back at the apartment buildings.

She remained motionless seemingly forgetting about the existence of the four men behind her. Realizing she might stay like that for hours, Nephrite approached her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Usagi?"

At the sound of her name she turned back to them taking Nephrite's hand in her own. She flashed them her brightest smile, "I think it was right that I moved out. I needed to prove that I could support myself. Everyone had all of these dreams they wanted to pursue and lives they wanted to live and I… I was right to get my own place, to carve out a life for myself. Especially after…" Her voice trailed off again.

"After?" Nephrite asked gently.

She smiled again, though it was much smaller this time, "Not here. My apartment is close, only a few blocks," she laughed a nice normal laugh and began walking again, "I should tell you it's not nearly as impressive as his, barely any view at all."

Nephrite stayed by her side and for a while they continued on in companionable silence. The other three moved closer. It was a nice moment for them, one that didn't seem to be bound up in duty and magic; as they walked towards Usagi's apartment they were merely five friends who had been reunited after a rather long separation and who couldn't be happier to be in each other's company.

* * *

In an entirely different part of the world, another reunion was about to take place.

Ami never thought she would ever enjoy New York so much, but she did. She truly did. She thought new York would be too unfamiliar, too unfriendly, too crowded (which was ironic considering she was from Tokyo), but when she arrived she found it herself somehow loving the fast pace. The energy of the city, which she thought would be overwhelming, instead instilled in her a sense of confidence that was somewhat new to her. But for all of this, the truth was that the most she seemed to be able to say about New York was that she enjoyed it. Despite the fact that she was going to school here and had been for the better part of the last two years, some part of her still felt like she was on a vacation.** She wasn't always sure what it was that she was taking a vacation from though.

Succumbing to thoughts she always tried dearly to avoid, she began to think of all that she had left behind… No, she amended, what was there waiting for her when she returned. She first thought of her mother, but soon knew that it was not from her that any unpleasant thoughts arose. After all, through the computer, she and her mother were able to talk as much as ever, maybe even more than they did when she lived in Tokyo. *** It was from her other family that these feeling came.

The Senshi, her princess… her friends… her sisters… Every once and a while she would try and map out how they had gotten where they were. A few years ago, the idea that they would be separated, even if just for a few weeks, would have seemed crazy and now they were all in different parts of the world. They barely speak to each other these days.

Face to face visits happened even less. This is why she felt so miserable at this moment. She would be seeing two of her friends for the first time in… she realized doing the math made her feel a little dizzy and immediately stopped. And anyway, the point was she is going to be seeing her friends tonight and she wasn't feeling excited. What was wrong with her? Calling the Senshi her family wasn't an understatement. She was closer to them than anyone in the world. Even now, after months of almost no contact that was still true. And she certainly didn't need a shrink to tell her why she hadn't gotten particularly close to anyone here.

The sound of knocking interrupted her thoughts. She checked her watch and realized she had lost track of time. She looked down at her clothes and sighed at the sight of the baggy shirt and sweats. For a second she considered changing, but then remembered who was on the other side of that door. They wouldn't care about what she was wearing… or would they? How had everything gotten this hard?

Realizing she was just stalling, she got up and walked to the door. Taking one more deep breath she reached her hand out to the handle and opened the door. Before she could even take in the sight of Mina and Rei standing in her doorway, before she could even say hello, a rush of yellow tackled her into a bone crushing hug.

Rei met Ami's shocked eyes and shot her an sympathetic smile. "I got similar treatment when I met Mina at the airport."

Mina finally let go of Ami and turned to Rei with an incredulous look, "Of course you did! This is exciting! We're together!" Mina's words produced two distinct sets of feelings in Ami and she wasn't entirely sure which was the more powerful. On the one hand, Mina's joy was infectious, but her words also highlighted the dark thoughts that she had been having before they arrived. It proved that now it was the idea of them being together that was crazy, while separation was just their lives now. Thankfully the joy won out and she finally returned Mina's ridiculously large smile. Mina took Ami's hands and led her to the couch.

"So sit down and catch me up on life in New York! It must be so exciting living in the Big Orange!"**** Ami and Rei shared a look, but decided not to comment.

Instead Rei put a calming hand on Mina's shoulder, "Mina, its Ami's apartment. Perhaps she should have been the one to welcome us into the living room." Mina blinked a few times in confusion and then a slight blush rose in her cheeks.

"Oh Ami, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking!"

Ami laughed and smiled affectionately at Mina, "It's alright and I'm really happy to see you too," she reached her hand out to Rei, who gladly took it, "and you as well, Rei." Things got easier after that, easy enough that Ami began to forget all of the doubts that had plaguing her earlier. The original plan had been to go out and get dinner at this really nice place in Manhattan, but the more they talked, the more they didn't want to stop so when they looked at the clock and realized they had missed their reservation by two hours, they just laughed it off and kept talking. Eventually, when they got too hungry to continue ignoring food, Ami took them to her favorite little hole-in-the-wall diner.

"This reminds me of the Crown back in Juu… back home." And there it was. All it took was a tiny slip-up by Mina and all of the tension that had been held back as they had talked came crashing down on them. Suddenly it became hard to look each other in the eye.

"I'm going to be going back soon, you know," Mina and Ami turned to Rei. It was a ridiculous comment; Rei knew it was a ridiculous, they all knew it was ridiculous. That Rei was going back in a week was the whole reason why Mina and Rei were there, the first phase of Operation Usagi's Twenty-First Birthday. Starting in the next few weeks all of the Senshi were going to start the process of moving back to Tokyo. It was supposed to happen in phases, but the end result was to have everyone back on a permanent basis before June 30th.

"Have you told to Usa?" Ami asked to try to diffuse the tension, but realized too late that it did just the opposite. The problem with regards to Usa was that as little contact as there had been between the Senshi, there was even less with Usagi herself. It was yet another reason why Ami had been feeling so miserable. When she thought about Usa these days, the primary emotion was guilt and that scared her. Thinking about the person who was supposed to be _the most important_ person to her wasn't supposed to fill her with so many negative feelings. *****

"Not yet," the stress in Rei's voice confirmed that she felt similarly to Ami, "I was going to call tomorrow to let her know."

Mina brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and cleared her throat, "when was the last time you talked to her?"

Ami, suddenly finding a particular spot on the ceiling fascinating, mumbled something about a few weeks. Rei and Mina gave similar answers. Finally Rei asked, "When you talked to her…" the other two looked up, "when you talked to her, did she sound alright to you?"

Ami's first response was to say that there wasn't anything wrong with Usagi, that she was her perpetually cheerful self, that everything back home was fine, and, most importantly, she wanted to say that leaving hadn't been some selfish mistake on their part. The problem was, when she tried to say that, the words kept getting stuck somewhere along the way. Because the truth was that Usagi had seemed a little off. She couldn't quite put it into words, but there had definitely been something.

"Now that you mention it… I don't think it registered at the time, but…" Mina suddenly looked as miserable as Ami felt. Out of all of them, Mina was generally considered to be the closest to Usagi. She closed her eyes and let all the emotions drain out of her face and Ami was suddenly struck by how different the usually expressive Mina looked when she completely calmed herself. "Well," her tone was cheerful, and neither Rei nor Ami could tell if she was faking, "if there is something wrong, then Rei will find it out when she goes back next week!" a slight frown appeared on her face, "and…" she cleared her throat and the two realized that whatever she was trying to say was causing her some amount of pain, "if there is something then we might just have to revise Operation Twenty-First! We'll just come back sooner and whatever it is," another pause, "we'll be able to handle it."

"Mina," Rei tried to make what she was about to say not feel like a lie, but couldn't quite manage it, "there probably isn't anything or…"

"There's something," Mina was back to being icy, her words clipped, "I know it, I feel it, I…" she looked Ami and Rei in the eyes, "and I think you feel it too."

Ami, clinging to her last shred of hope, or perhaps denial, said weakly, "maybe it's not so bad."******

* * *

*Wow we're starting the commentary quick this time around! Now I know that this title doesn't seem as cool and reference-y as my other ones, but it actually is! Specifically it is a reference to this classic movie that I absolutely love starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine.

**So at this moment, Usa is turning 21 in a few months (maybe three or so) so use that has a reference if you want to know any of the character's ages… To be clear, I'm trying to stay super cannon, but (if I'm being totally honest) I'm not quite interested enough to really map out exactly how old everyone is. Either way the inner Senshi would all be in their very early twenties so someone like Ami (who is the only one who fully committed to the whole college route) is still in school studying to be a doctor… though I'm sure at a much accelerated rate being Ami. Mamoru is of course also doing the doctor thing, but he is much older and therefor more along in his studies.

***Right, so I've of course arrived at the annoying road block known as the senshi's real families. Honestly, despite how much time I've spent thinking about the transition between Tokyo and Crystal Tokyo the real families is one of the things I just can't figure out! It's a real bum-puzzler… In other people's fics it always seems the easiest thing to do is just kill them in some way, but really, how many families can you kill without being ridiculous? Did all of their families (which is of course to say the Tsukinos, Ami's mother, Grandfather, and Mina's family) conveniently get on the same plane? I kid, of course, but it's still awfully frustrating… Now, as it happens there is one group of people that I did… Oh well, you'll see later!

****Normally I way prefer the manga characterizations, but I just couldn't resist that one.

*****Just to remind you, Usagi is using the crystal to keep her friends away. It wasn't exactly a conscious action in the beginning, but I think by this point she knows what she's doing. Showing the Senshi in this chapter, I wanted to show how what Usagi is doing is really painful for the Senshi as well. They're far away from her crystal and her magic so they're being less affected by it so right now, they're real feelings are coming to the surface. Though I think it's important to recognize that the crystal didn't make up these feelings. These ambitions and drive existed, but the crystal just intensified them and tried to suppress their feelings for Usagi.

******Alright so that was it. I know I'm terrible for taking this long, but bright side I've got like four days of hibernation in my dorm where I have like NOTHING to do so hopefully I can knock out some chapters. This isn't a situation where I don't know how to move this story forward, it's just getting around and doing the actual writing... Not to mention these pesky characters keep on invading and demanding I write certain scenes that were NOT in the original plan meaning the story get's a little larger than anticipated. But still, I know, I'm super terrible and I'm working on being a much better person!


	6. A Spot of Exposition II

The strange thing is that this is one of the scenes that inspired me to right this fic, so why it should be so damn impossible to write confounds me to no end. Oh well, as always I'm sorry it took so long. Luckily my schedule in the upcomming weeks is really light so it shouldn't take all that long to update the next chapter...

* * *

**A Spot of Exposition II: The Actual Exposition Part***

"Well this is it; home, sweet home!" Usagi led the four men into her apartment and turned on the light. "I mean it's not impressive or anything…" though her voice tried to downplay it, they could tell she was actually really proud of the admittedly small living space and was secretly anxious that they wouldn't like it. As it turns out, however, she needn't have worried. While it's true that it wasn't expensively decorated and that it lacked any sort of consistent theme, not to mention it wasn't particularly tidy, they loved it, perhaps all the more for what might have otherwise been seen as negatives. It was a credit to Usagi's talent of finding strays in need of home and, in loving them, gaining their love (a talent she normally displayed with people, but apparently also worked with inanimate objects). Each piece was infused with the same kind of warmth that so characterized its owner, making the whole place just as irresistible.

During the Silver Millennium, Serenity's chambers had been almost entirely white with an occasional pastel thrown in, but the rooms they could see were filled with rich, vibrant colors. There were a lot of strong pinks and happy oranges, cooler greens and blues and royal violets, with some whites and pastels thrown in to prove that the princess wasn't completely lost. Somehow it all managed to avoid being overpowering. What was most surprising was how unsurprising it was; how now that they had seen it, it seemed that this was how her apartment should be, the only way it could be. **

Realizing she was waiting for a response, Nephrite squeezed Usagi's hand, "I think it's great." The other three fervently nodded their heads. She smiled gratefully at them and left to go get some drinks. They waited in what could best be described as a living room, taking particular interest in a long sideboard placed up against the wall opposite from the door. It was covered in pictures which extended up the wall and almost all the way up to the ceiling. Some of them featured Usagi, but the vast majority did not, instead showing countless different people, most the Shitennou didn't recognize. That being said, on the occasion that they did see one with the image of one of their long-lost friends they couldn't pretend that the effect produced in them wasn't almost painfully strong.

"As it turns out all I have is water, I don't really host mu…" they were so focused on the pictures that they didn't hear what she was saying. Smiling she snuck up next to them and with no warning began telling them about all of the pictures that she deemed even remotely relevant to them. They jumped at the sudden introduction of her voice, but quickly recovered enough to listen to what she had to say: "that one," she pointed to a candid of most of the Senshi relaxing around the temple, "was taken on my last birthday and happens to be my favorite group picture… I'm not sure who took it… Oh and this," now it was a posed portrait showing just the inners, "is probably the only picture I have where all of us are looking at the camera at the right time. Of course, five seconds after it was taken Mina got the giggles and Rei and I ended up in one of our 'playful' fights…" she scanned the pictures, finally pointing to one showing Usagi with four women that they vaguely recognized, "I suppose you never really knew the Outer Scouts, at least not well. Even on the moon they were considered by some as a myth… I'm glad things have changed."

Though she only ever talked about the ones with Senshi or Mamoru connections, each time their eyes would skate past one of the ones with Usagi's "normal" friends there was often a faint sense of déjà vu that nearly prompted them to ask who so-and-so was; though, of course, they never actually did.*** The show and tell continued in this way for a good half hour, but they eventually realized that while they found all of this extremely interesting, it seemed to be having an increasingly negative effect on Usagi, whose voice lacked all of its previous joy.

Finally, when Usagi's voice was only a few octaves above a whisper, Nephrite finally asked the questions that had been running through their minds since they had found Usagi. "Usa, what happened? Why are you all alone here? Where has everyone gone?"

She laughed, though it lacked any real amusement, "It depends on who you're asking about. There are a lot of answers to those questions… Would you prefer it in chronological or alphabetical order?" It was strange because in their whole memory they could never remember the princess ever sounding so… bitter seemed a close enough word. But despite the vitriol, they also knew, almost instinctively, that the bitterness wasn't actually directed at the missing Scouts. In fact, if they had to guess, they'd say the majority of it seemed directed at Usagi herself.

With a sigh, she invited them to sit down on whatever piece of furniture seemed the most comfortable and, after running her hands over her face, began the explanation:

"First off, I think it's very important that you understand that it's not like they all abandoned me. They wouldn't have left if I told them not to. In fact, there were a few who really fought me to stay, but I just… I couldn't do that to them. I don't know how much you know about what the future is going to be like," she stopped to shoot them a questioning glance.

It was again Nephrite who spoke, "We have a fairly clear picture. Endymion came to us for advice from time to time and through that…"

She nodded in understanding, "Well then you know that we don't have as much power over our future as most."

"But surely it is a future that you wish to see?" Zoicite was wearing the expression he always did when he was facing a puzzle he couldn't immediately solve.

Usagi made a non-committal sort of sound and then continued, "Perhaps, but you forget that we were reincarnated. We had lives before we discovered our past; we had hopes and dreams. Do those not matter? My friends have sacrificed so much for me, there have been countless battles. They had an opportunity to escape their fate for a time, why should they not take it?" Though she did not know it, she was sounding more and more like the Princess with each word.

"But Sere," at Usagi's glare Nephrite immediately began backtracking, "Sorry, I forgot," he placed a pacifying hand over hers, "Why are you so convinced it's a fate they wish to escape, even for a little while? Perhaps, and I am only saying perhaps, during the Silver Millennium your guardians were only there out of a sense of duty, but in this life can you honestly say the same? Listening to the way you speak of them, there is clearly love in your voice, and not the love of a sovereign for her people, but of a friend speaking of other friends. Surely, such clear affection would not go unrequited."

"It doesn't matter, they are happy where they are and there is nothing I wish for more than their happiness." Seeing that it would do nothing to argue further, Jadeite decided it was best to shift the direction of the conversation a bit.

"So then where are our friends at the moment?" Usagi recognized his purposefully light tone and silently thanked him for it.

"The Outer Scouts, who in this life are known as Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru, and Setsuna, were the first to leave, but then they always are. Sometimes I envy their ability to live so unattached, to go where the wind or the waves take them. They check in frequently," she smiled and said in an almost conspiratorial voice, "They have a habit of being over protective. Most of the time, though, I have no clue where they are; or at least not an exact location. I think the last time I heard from them they were somewhere in Brazil and I think they were planning to stay through Carnival." At the quizzical looks she received she giggled, "It's a particularly lively festival that's going to be starting in a week or so.**** I don't know what their plans were beyond that, but it wouldn't surprise me if they're planning a visit soon.

"Mars…"

"Her name is Rei now, right?" Usagi had to really struggle to prevent her laughter from bubbling out at the poorly hidden enthusiasm in Jadeite's voice.

She nodded and continued, "Rei has also been living a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. If you remember, Rei is a miko so she decided to take a year to travel the world and visit famous sacred spaces. It has taken her to some corners of the world that I don't thinkany of us would have expected, but she seems really happy about the whole trip. If it's possible, she's more enlightened than before," again the love in her eyes bellied her teasing tone, "Actually, I'm nearly positive she's currently in the United States visiting Ami…"

"Mercury?" now it was Zoicite's turn to sound desperate.

Another nod, "Yes, but I'm not a hundred percent. It's been almost a month since I talked to any of them, the inners I mean, but, if I'm remembering right, both Rei and Mina, Venus," she added before Malachite could beat her to it, "should be in New York by now. Ami has been studying medicine there for…" she paused in thought, "actually it's nearing two years now. Mina also went to the U.S. Hollywood, specifically, so she could pursue her dream of becoming an idol.

"As for Makoto," Nephrite knew better than to interrupt, "she's been studying under a chef in Paris. She's been working at a Bistro and I'm told it's really taking off. She's making quite the name for herself." After that she let the room fall silent. There was still one obvious person whose story had yet to be resolved, but Usagi seemed determined to not bring him up until they directly asked.

Having been met with such stony silence, which was actually very intimidating, the Shitennou nearly abandoned the question all together, but Malachite, who found that duty outweighed personal safety, was forced to voice it. "And what of Endymion."

"Mamoru," she said with clear emphasis, "is also in the U.S. He's in a place called Massachusetts. He studied medicine at one of the most prestigious universities in the world, a school called Harvard, and then stayed when he was offered a very impressive job for someone just out of school. He is quickly becoming the sort of doctor that hospitals call when they need the absolute best."

The Shitennou found that though this answered most of their questions about the wayward prince, it left out the one part that they were most interested in. Unfortunately, not even Malachite's sense of duty was enough to force him to ask Usagi what their current relationship was. He discovered some things were just too awkward, even when compared with the obligations of his post.

Usagi really hadn't planned on telling them. Like Malachite, she felt the whole thing was too painfully awkward, but one look at the faces of the Shitennou told her she really had no choice so, after breathing very loudly through her nose in an attempt to purge whatever dignity she had left, she put them out of their misery:

"Mamoru and I… We… He… this is way too difficult!" another loud breath through the nose, "We're not, not together. I mean it's not like we ever officially broke up and besides," she began pacing in frustration, "do you know how difficult it is to date when you already know who your soul mate is!? Seriously, it takes all the fun out of the whole experience. I mean, not that I've gone on many dates, like three at most, and only because Toki was threatening to fire me if I didn't make a sincere effort to have some fun, which, by the way is probably illegal," it was a full on rant now, "And no, don't bother asking! I have no idea what his dating life is like, nor do I particularly want to!"

When the shock finally wore off, Nephrite got enough courage to ask, "When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"It's been a while," she admitted, her voice losing some of its previous hysteria, "possibly over a year, but before you start blaming him, remember that I've been just as diligently not-calling him as he's been me. Look it's just a little complicated. I don't really know exactly where we stand, alright?" They nodded their assent, but they couldn't help how shocked they were by all that she had said, particularly the last part. Using every ounce of their imagination they tried to picture either the Prince or the Princess that they once known going over a year without talking to each other and their minds came up blank. *****

Before anything could be said however, Usagi was literally saved by the bell. Or at least she was saved by the ringing of the phone. She excused herself and left to answer it. While she was gone the four men simply blinked at each other, completely unable to form words. In fact they were so lost in these confusing thoughts that it didn't completely register when Usagi's cheerfully loud voice yelled "Rei!" into the receiver. It also didn't completely register when she came back, visibly distraught over whatever it was that she had just heard, and sat down in the seat she had vacated maybe five minutes prior.

It wasn't until they had been sitting there for almost three minutes that Nephrite had shaken himself enough out of his stupor to observe her distress. "Usagi, what's happened?"

"That was Rei," she squeaked, a noise they were certain the princess had never made in her lifetime. "She's coming back in four days."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Jadeite entire being, from tone to posture, made his confusion over Usagi's reaction known.

"I…" her voice was better than a squeak, but still lacked most of its usual strength, "she's coming back and she doesn't know."

"Know what?" both Malachite and Zoicite spoke out in alarm.

"None of them know…"

"Usagi," Nephrite seemed to be the only one who could mask his fear, so when he spoke her name and grabbed her hand to get her attention, his voice was comforting and strong, "what don't they know?"

"They don't know about the accident… They don't know that my mom and my dad… they don't know that Shingo," she forced her horrified eyes to look into Nephrite's, "they don't know that my family was killed in a car accident almost five months ago." For just a moment everything was still, but then Usagi was sobbing and was being pulled into a comforting hug by Nephrite, and the entire world started up again, but it's safe to say no one in Usagi's quaint apartment noticed.******

* * *

*This is a reference to an episode in the fifth season of Psych… It is a show I'm a hundred percent in love with and I just couldn't resist…

**In case I'm not being too heavy handed, the whole point is that Usagi's apartment represents who Usagi is as a person on the planet. Remember, the whole point of getting her own apartment is so that she could prove (especially to herself) that she could live on her own, but Usagi, above all else, is all about the people in her life. She's not crazy wealthy (so you will find out she has some money later), so yeah most of the furniture is used, but it's better that way. And for those of you who are wondering why the colors aren't mostly pink and white (which are her favorite colors), the colors in her apartment reflect her friends the Senshi. I think this is an attempt by subconscious-Usagi to connect herself to the friends that have been pushed away, but Usa is totally unaware she's doing it. Whew! This was a long one!

***This is kind of a reference to that whole idea that is often used in fics where the people of Earth are also reincarnations of people from the Silver Millennium, though just of lesser importance.

****Which I guess officially makes it really early February in the story…

*****So I should probably clarify at this moment that I'm totally for Usa and Mamoru as a couple (and all of their incarnation for that matter). This isn't supposed to be a comment on how bad a boyfriend Mamoru is. If it hasn't already been mentioned, the way I see it is that Usa and Mamoru share a soul-type-bond-thing so this whole silver crystal thing forcing everyone away hits him doubly hard and it is a constant barrage. With the scouts distance becomes an issue, which is why they would keep coming back from time to time and feel all this guilt when they're away, but Mamoru wouldn't because he is under the direct influence of Usagi's magic. Acceptable?

******So this isn't what you're thinking. I didn't just kill the Tsukinos for the sake of killing them. They aren't jsut dead because I have no clue what to do with them in the Silver Millennium (though I genuinely don't). I killed them in this story because them dying for Usagi confirms all of her worst fears. Usagi will always be wondering if it was her destiny that killed them. Remember, one of the main points of this story is to show some of the inevitble damage done to Usagi's psyche. Right now she's really angry that she's been trapped into a path without her say in the matter and even more, she's upset that other people have to go down with her. None of this is to say that she's right, but ever sense what happened to Galaxia, she's been messed up and though no one else sees it yet, she is not coping well.


	7. Lies My Teacher Told Me

**Lies My Teacher Told Me***

The story came out in a rush between sobs and coughs and the occasional moments of deep silence that seemed to communicate far more than her words were able to. It was a confused narrative, owing to how many starts and stops there were, but they were still able to piece together what had happened. A few months after her last birthday and a little over six months from today, her family decided to plan a vacation. It was meant as a short, weekend sort of trip. Usagi was supposed to go with them, but she backed out at the last minute. She couldn't even remember what the exact reason was, just that at the time she felt too busy to go with them and that she was convinced there would always be time enough for such trips. She has no reason to think that they didn't have a lovely time, but she also has nothing to confirm this; on their way back they were in a car accident.

They could make out nothing else of her story, though she had said much more. Even harder was assessing her emotional state. Depression was obvious to the point of being palpable, but they could also sense other things. There were undercurrents of anger and resentment that gave them a vague sense of déjà vu, but it wasn't specific enough to remember when they had ever heard those emotions come from her.** Even more powerful was the obvious sense of guilt, but it seemed to go far beyond her not going on the trip with her family. But they couldn't bring themselves to force her further than she was clearly willing to go at such a time. Instead, Nephrite chose to go in a different direction by asking one of the other pressing questions on their minds.

"Usagi, how is it… I mean, why didn't you tell your friends? Why did you go through all of this by yourself?" The question, though expected, still caused a particularly vicious war within Usagi. For a cowardly moment she considered just not answering, but she realized that it was her reticence that was at the heart of many of her current problems.

"If they knew," she sighed and closed her eyes, "when they find out, what could possibly stop them from coming back? What would ever convince them to leave again?"

"They shouldn't be gone at all! They have a duty to…" Jadeite's outburst was silenced by the glares of his three angry comrades.

"What Jed is trying to say," Nephrite soothed, "is that they would've wanted to be here. And I doubt that feeling would have come just out of a sense of duty," at Nephrite's words she just closed her eyes and though her lips moved, no sound came out. "No, Usa, you must listen. I'm not saying I exactly agree with you about whether your friends should be here or not, but I do understand why you feel the way you do. But Usa," his voice entreated her to look at him, "You have to see that this… this is different. It's one thing for them to be away when they aren't strictly needed, but this…" he trailed off, unsure how to phrase what he was trying to say, but desperate that Usagi should understand. She took pity on his floundering voice by doing the last thing any of them expected: she chuckled.

They could see the instant she got control over herself again. Her lovely face still looked a little tired and much older than it normally did, and her eyes were still sad, but there was some life back in them. "There's no point arguing, what done is done," they might have argued had her voice not sounded genuinely sorry. "Rei will be here within days and I'm confident she will have much," she shot them a significant look, "to report back. I would be surprised if all of them weren't back by the end of the month." There was a small sparkle in her eyes that they could see was her laughing at them. They were confused at first, but then all at once they understood what she was implying. They all doubted that the Inner Senshi would be happy to see them; actually, they'd probably be lucky if they escaped with their lives at the end of that meeting. She was observing them with an almost indecent level of amusement, which they might have been more upset over if they weren't so glad to see her smiling again.

"In fact," she teased, "I think I can count on you all to act as quite a distraction."

"It won't be that bad will it?" Jadeite, normally characterized by a certain sort of bravado, sounded like he might cry.

Usagi simply raised an eyebrow and innocently added, "At least the first meeting will only be with one scout instead of all of them at once."

"Which might be more comforting if that scout wasn't known for being something of a pyro…" she laughed at Jadeite's expression.

"Well if you're too afraid, you'd probably be able to hide somewhere…"

"Afraid! Me afraid! Please, I'm not afraid!"

"Jed," she put a comforting hand over his, "you were afraid of her even when you were on good terms." His look in response was so hilarious that they all found themselves laughing, the first completely light moment they had experienced that whole day. Afterwards, their conversation stayed on this more jocular side, and there was much laughter while they all avoided thinking about their considerable worries.

Eventually the four men knew it was time to leave. It was as Malachite was suggesting this that Usagi got a very strange look on her face. They noticed this and waited for her to voice whatever question was on her mind.

"Do you… do you actually have someplace to stay?" Though it was a completely commonplace question, they were seriously taken aback by it. In fact, it wasn't until now that it occurred to them that they actually didn't know much at all about their situation. They racked their brains and had memories of their first life, their even worse second life, and memories of that day. And they had known enough to tell Usagi that they had been cleansed and even knew that they had been looking for her (and her specifically, which they now realized was a little strange), but as for HOW they knew that… There was, of course, no way to voice any of this, but apparently there was no need. Usagi was watching them carefully and seemed to have a fairly good idea of what they were thinking.***

"I didn't think so," her head was tilted and though it was clear she was contemplating something deeply, it was equally clear she had no interest in sharing, "And if that's the case, you are welcome to use Mamoru's apartment. I don't know when he'll be coming back, if he is coming…" she had to shake her head to clear her thoughts, "But it's probably still empty and I have the key."

"Usagi, I don't think that would be…" though they were all uncomfortable, but it was Zoicite who attempted to voice their concerns before he was cut off.

"The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. He gave me free use of it and I don't actually think that's changed. And besides, having you stay at Mamoru's place… it has a nice sort of symmetry." Seeing they were still unconvinced she sighed, "Answer me this, do you have a place to sleep tonight?" she waited them to shake their heads sheepishly, "Well if nothing else, just use the apartment for tonight. Spend all of tomorrow trying to find somewhere else to stay if it makes you that uncomfortable, but for tonight you must have somewhere and my apartment isn't really set up for a lot of guests."

Despite a vague sense of dread, Rei couldn't have been happier as her flight landed. It gave her a warm feeling to be back at home. More than any of the other's, leaving Tokyo had felt like nothing more than a trip for Rei. She had left reluctantly, in fact she had been the last out of all of them to leave, but Usagi's arguments had finally won out. First she had limited herself just to the sacred spots in Japan, but had eventually been convinced to expand her plans. Seeing so much of the world and observing all of the places that the people treasured had left her with a feeling of connectedness with humanity. She could barely remember ever feeling as grounded as she did right now. It had also been remarkably enlightening to see how other cultures treated their holy spaces.

But all of that was over. She was back now and she knew she was only minutes away from seeing her princess. Just the thought of seeing Usagi was enough to make Rei smile, but it wasn't quite enough to make her forget the worry she had been feeling for some time now. Before she had left, Rei remembered being made somewhat suspicious by Usagi's fervor in encouraging them all to live their own lives. And the unease that had come up when she was with Mina and Ami, both who were anxiously awaiting a call from her once she saw Usagi, hadn't really left, even though that was almost a week ago.

And she might have felt better about all of this if she could get even the tiniest reading on Usagi, but as much as she prayed for one, she couldn't get a single vision. She had searched the sacred fire before she left and decided the lack of a bad omen was a sign that meant she could go. Through an extreme amount of self-control, she repeatedly had to stop herself from jumping on a plain and coming right back when it became obvious her powers could provide no information on her princess's immediate future. "No news is good news" became a constant mantra for Rei. When that didn't work out she convinced herself that Usagi would have called someone if anything was happening, and that person would surely have called her even if the problem was slight. Unfortunately, Rei was, by this point, convinced that there was a problem, but that it wouldn't be small.

These thoughts had gotten her all the way through customs, baggage claim, and out to the spot she had agreed to meet Usagi. She hadn't really been paying much attention though and had assumed Usagi would be late anyway, so she was more than a little surprised when the very person she had been thinking about came hurdling at her. Usagi was just able to stop before she collided into Rei, showing a level of self-restraint that almost astounded her. That astonishment vanished when Usagi grabbed her into a hug. Neither found themselves able to speak, the force of their emotions making that impossible. Naturally, Rei was able to hide it better—she would never be caught sobbing like Usagi was—but she couldn't quite prevent all of the tears that were trailing down her face.

After what must have been minutes, Rei finally attempted to separate herself from her friend, getting enough space to actually look at Usagi's face. She was a little startled by how much older Usagi looked, especially around the eyes, but otherwise decided she looked fine. Besides, Rei found it hard to feel too concerned when looking at Usagi's almost alarmingly bright smile. Usagi, apparently, couldn't take the distance any longer and began hugging her again. And Rei, back in her friend's arms, was struck by just how much she had missed her.

Rei did not fail to notice the strange look Motoki kept sending to Usagi. She also caught Usagi's answering looks. This had been going on for almost an hour, beginning within seconds of Usagi and Rei entering the Crown for dinner. Returning to one of their most familiar haunts had seemed an obvious choice, but now Rei wasn't so sure. There was something in the conversation that was throwing Rei off. Something in Usagi even, the way she was holding herself, that confused Rei. She hadn't even been gone for a year, so why did she feel as though something pivotal had changed.

It was becoming harder and harder for Rei to hide her frustration. All of her anxiety was back in full force, and her current situation was just reminding her how unreliable her powers had been lately. Even worse was that Usagi seemed to be at least somewhat aware of how Rei was feeling. It wasn't that she thought Usagi wanted to make Rei feel uncomfortable (whatever had changed, Rei believed too much in Usagi's goodness to suspect that), but she could believe that Usagi was hiding something from her. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. Withholding was hardly typical Usagi behavior. Of course, it made Rei a little sad that Usagi felt she couldn't say something. Even beyond this, though, was fear. Rei couldn't begin to imagine what could make Usagi keep quiet, but it had to be bad.

"Rei?" looking at Usagi's expression, Rei realized she had been silent for much too long.

She grinned sheepishly at Usagi, "Sorry."

"Got a little lost in your thoughts?" Usagi tried to sound light, but there was a tightness around her eyes.

"Usagi… I think there's something you aren't telling me…"

Usagi turned toward the window and was silent long enough for Rei to get worried. Usagi wrapped an arm around herself and sighed. "Not here. I'll tell you… but just not here." Something in Usagi's voice was pleading for Rei to understand, so she nodded. Soon they were leaving the Crown, Usagi glancing back at Andrew, and heading toward Rei's temple.

There was only one thought in Rei's head: 'Oh Usagi'. It kept repeating itself over and over. She would to try to get her brain to start moving again, but then she would look at Usagi, currently sleeping on a pallet, and would just sigh. Usagi had fallen asleep over an hour ago. Rei still felt where Usagi had clung to her as she sobbed and her cries were still echoing in her ears. Oh Usagi.

Then there was the other thing that Usagi had informed her. She couldn't believe the Shitennou were back in their lives. Usagi seemed so confident that they were safe, but Rei couldn't, or maybe wouldn't believe it. The Shitennou had done too much and sometimes Usagi needed to be protected from her own trusting nature.

But Rei knew that now really wasn't the time to worry about the Shitennou. They had yet to attack and didn't seem to be doing so now. Plus, Rei had a more immediate concern: she had a phone call she needed to make. With a sigh she looked down at the phone she had been turning over in her hand for the past forty minutes. A flick of her thumb and the call was already going through. Mina answered before the first ring was over.

"Rei? Rei? Is that you?" Rei didn't answer immediately.

Finally, "Mina… It's me." There was a long silence.

"Rei?! Did you find out anything?"

"…. Mina," Rei's voice broke, "Mina, it's worse than we thought."

* * *

*Obviously this is a reference to the fact that Usagi has been lying, but it's also about a much larger plot point. So any guesses on who the "teacher" is?

**Can you think of any other situation about which she might feel a little resentful?

***For the record, their appearance will be explained… you know, eventually.

Right, so there was an unfortunately large gap between the postings of chapters. I'm not in any way proud of this, believe me. If you want to know the truth, I had a pretty severe block with this chapter. This is a really important chapter in terms of where we're going and resolving some of the things that were set up several chapters ago. Not to mention some pretty heavy things were discussed so… But looking forward, you might be excited for what's coming up in the next chapter! I'm thinking a conversation between Mina and Mamoru (yeah, that Mamour) and Rei confronting the Shitennou! Plus, I think it's about time we check up on some of our other friends don't you? The previous chapters were about catching people up, now it's time to bring them home!


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